The other day while talking with my mom, I shared a recent struggle of mine. "How do I avoid the disappointment that seems imminent from holding on to a dream, plan, or hope of teaching, when its my second year out of college and the largest fastest growing school district in my state is experiencing a hiring freeze?" I couldn't help but recall in the back of my mind an older man I had met on a family camping trip 5 or 6 years ago from my home church. He recalled what he went through graduating college with an Education & Physical Health degree. He looked for a job for 5 years until he gave up and became a policeman. Recalling this myself I can't help but think,"And that was "back in the day." Right now we (us recent college grads (and the rest of the world for that matter) are experiencing one of the hardest economic times of our life so far and possibly our parents'-Do I need a new framework for the way I'm thinking? Should I "be all that I can be" or simply be grateful for any work at this point? If God will really have his way anyway, why hold loosely the things I desire, why hold them with "open hands," why not just let go of them all together and let be what will be-this way I avoid the energy it takes to hope, to try, to plan, and ultimately to recover from failure. Every day, in any way, trying to avoid pain.There is pain in our lives that we bring upon ourselves from bad decisions, pain inflicted upon us by those we love and those around us, and there is pain that just doesn't make any sense. I struggle at times with falling into what I like to call "Job's Friends" trap-when I start to believe that pain or struggle I face in my life is a direct punishment of something I did or didn't do-maybe my prayer life has been lagging, or my attitude about my job is at times less than ..umm...holy....? A friend recently reminded me that Christ paid the price-and though we may suffer the natural consequences of our sin-we aren't paying for them-because Christ already did. It's hard to remember that when God looks at me he sees his son-white as snow-when I have to live with stinky little me every day-but what a tragedy- to forget the grace that saves me.
Pain is such a hard thing to talk about-and is a huge stumbling block for many as they try to reconcile so much evil and pain in our world that is thrust upon innocent victims with a God that is a just loving protector. There have been numerous books written by people much smarter than I am on the topic and I don't write any of this to belittle the terrible things that go on in this world-but I also have to cling to the unchanging character of our Lord, a God who hates sin, and who will not hold back his wrath forever. He offers us healing, new life, and redemption, and its on this hope that I need to keep my focus.
My roommate Lindsey once told me that pain is a mercy from God. It's something that I've thought about often ever since. I'm not sure it's totally worked out in my head, but I've tried imagining my life without pain-without even the pain of a stubbed toe or burned hand from bumping a hot pan on the stove. Physical pain can be so symbolic of our spiritual state. Without feeling the pain of breaking a bone or cutting yourself you just continue to do damage.
Sometimes I feel like we as Americans (myself included) are walking around like modern day lepers-we rarely feel the stinging pain of need and therefore don't even know that we are ailing. Physical pain gives us the cue to avoid something-don't touch that it's sharp, it's hot, it will hurt-it hurts because it is doing damage. Pain we have experienced in our lives can function like this-the painful experience becomes a pit stop in our journey in which we learned a valuable lesson or two, and maybe a little bit more about ourselves in order to better face the rest of the journey. But this pragmatic function of pain isn't the best part. Yes, you will learn from it. Yes, it will refine you, but best of all the pain in our lives brings us to our knees and draws us towards our heavenly father. The moment we are aware of our need we look for the solution-the solution that can only be found in Him, and this is a mercy.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sending out an E-vite to Pain, asking it to come on over and have a party. . .or better yet be the "party pooper"(George Banks), but I do constantly need to keep a healthy biblical perspective on pain, suffering, and disappointment, and remember that with pain comes healing, with death new life, and with suffering a new outlook and fortitude for the future.
Who am I to shrink from my day to day suffering and think that as a child of God he never intended for me to ever be heartbroken when he sent his only son to suffer most of all while I was dead in my sin.
Following Easter Sunday a couple years ago, one of my college professors confessed that over the weekend he and his wife had a huge blowout fight. He then went on to talk about the resurrection, and how in order for there to be the resurrection, there had to be a crucifixion. He of course was relating his marital fight to the spiritual truth him and his wife experienced that weekend, that in order for new life to spring forth between them there needed to be dying. Simple though it may sound, often times we want the new life but aren't willing to experience the cruel death it requires. A great paradox in the Christian faith that Christ modeled on the Cross as he paid the ultimate price and the ultimate death in order for all of us to have new eternal life in Him.
My roommate Lindsey once told me that pain is a mercy from God. It's something that I've thought about often ever since. I'm not sure it's totally worked out in my head, but I've tried imagining my life without pain-without even the pain of a stubbed toe or burned hand from bumping a hot pan on the stove. Physical pain can be so symbolic of our spiritual state. Without feeling the pain of breaking a bone or cutting yourself you just continue to do damage.
Sometimes I feel like we as Americans (myself included) are walking around like modern day lepers-we rarely feel the stinging pain of need and therefore don't even know that we are ailing. Physical pain gives us the cue to avoid something-don't touch that it's sharp, it's hot, it will hurt-it hurts because it is doing damage. Pain we have experienced in our lives can function like this-the painful experience becomes a pit stop in our journey in which we learned a valuable lesson or two, and maybe a little bit more about ourselves in order to better face the rest of the journey. But this pragmatic function of pain isn't the best part. Yes, you will learn from it. Yes, it will refine you, but best of all the pain in our lives brings us to our knees and draws us towards our heavenly father. The moment we are aware of our need we look for the solution-the solution that can only be found in Him, and this is a mercy.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sending out an E-vite to Pain, asking it to come on over and have a party. . .or better yet be the "party pooper"(George Banks), but I do constantly need to keep a healthy biblical perspective on pain, suffering, and disappointment, and remember that with pain comes healing, with death new life, and with suffering a new outlook and fortitude for the future.
Who am I to shrink from my day to day suffering and think that as a child of God he never intended for me to ever be heartbroken when he sent his only son to suffer most of all while I was dead in my sin.
Following Easter Sunday a couple years ago, one of my college professors confessed that over the weekend he and his wife had a huge blowout fight. He then went on to talk about the resurrection, and how in order for there to be the resurrection, there had to be a crucifixion. He of course was relating his marital fight to the spiritual truth him and his wife experienced that weekend, that in order for new life to spring forth between them there needed to be dying. Simple though it may sound, often times we want the new life but aren't willing to experience the cruel death it requires. A great paradox in the Christian faith that Christ modeled on the Cross as he paid the ultimate price and the ultimate death in order for all of us to have new eternal life in Him.
" Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
-Romans 5:1-7
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